BAP!

(teaser photos from their latest single, HAJIMA)

BANG YONGGUK

JUNG DAEHYUN

MOON JONGUP

CHOI JOONHONG

KIM HIMCHAN

YOO YOUNGJAE

--

CRASH ERA

NO MERCY ERA

POWER ERA

WARRIOR ERA

this hardworking rookie group who came back 5 time in just 9 months since they debuted, a group that adore :3 BABYS! let's continue rooting for this handsome aliens ~ :">

you make me confused. ໖_໖

you may be tired of reading my posts about having myself hurt because of certain guys, i don't know why i easily get carried away on how they treat me, or how they act around me and i hate myself for being like this. i often end up like this, trying to neglect my feelings for them but failing because they begin to show their "acts" again. 

BEING UNINTENTIONALLY SWEET, ACTING HE LIKES YOU BACK. but in the end, he was actually attracted to other girls and YOU, are left hurt.

one reason that i always get hurt is because i am a deep thinker, when something happens, or as me and my friends call it, when me, and the guy i like have a "MOMENT", i'd try to think about it, and have some reflections on his actions, without telling myself that everything might be the other way around, maybe he wasn't feeling the way i was. and this often leads me to expecting things i should not, this is how i always end up feeling all this sting in me.

but i have been wondering or is this my deep thinker self interfering again, if you were a guy and you knew how i felt for you, and you knew that i'd fall more for you if you continued to act sweet around me, will you still continue to act sweet even if you don't want me to fall deep for you? i may also had told you that i like guys who are mean when others are around but is sweet when it's just the two of us and that i hated sweet guys because i fall for them more. you knew all my weakness and still continued acting all sweet. you knew everything and yet you didn't tell me straight up that you didn't want me to stop falling for you. don't you know that every time you act sweet to me, it's confusing my feelings? can't you think of that too? i even told you that i love you and that i would do things for you because i love, that i'm willing to sacrifice my time to spend it with you because i love you, but all you did was reply to me normally, and treating everything like i didn't mean all of it when you actually knew THAT I MEANT IT. i wanted to stop falling for you in the first place, but every time i do start neglecting everything, YOU SHOW UP AND START TO CONFUSE ME AGAIN :/ this is getting tiring, and i'm tired of trying. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO THESE FEELINGS ANYMORE. (╥﹏╥)

Dear THAT-GUY-I'M-REFERRING-TO, 

    if ever you'd be able to read this post, i know that you'll be able to "GUESS" who i am referring to, and yes sweety, IT'S YOU. YES YOU. can you tell me STRAIGHT(without having thoughts of how'd i feel after hearing it, because i won't hate you for it) on what do you really see me as. AM I A 'JUST A FRIEND' or SOMEONE 'MORE SPECIAL THAN A FRIEND'? i swear i won't hate you after hearing what you TRULY see me as. i'd actually appreciate it since you won't be confusing me anymore. THANK YOU. i hope you're be able to read this soon.

                       From: Me, the girl whose feelings you are confusing.

maybe you'd think that i'm a coward because i can't ask him straight to his face the question i really want to ask to be able to hear the answer i want to hear so bad, and that if i'm really tired, why should i not take all my courage and ask him.why don't you try being in my shoe and feel all this and let us see. 

this would be all for now. i'd be blogging when i feel heavy again. 

bye.

beauty tips :3

want a straighter hair and doesn't want to have your hair undergo rebond or relax? olive oil and your shampoo can do it for you.

• mix 2 tablespoons of olive oil and a sachet of your shampoo.
• wet your hair, shampoo it, rinse.
• place the mixture to your hair then leave it or 30 minutes or longer. (best if wrapped in shower cap.), rinse.

for shinier hair (can also be done after the first one.)

• place conditioner on wet hair, but don't rinse it immediately, leave it for 30 minutes or longer.
• after bath, wrap hair with towel, don't remove it until hair is almost dry.

:">

mahal kita, totoo.

mahal kita diba sabi ko? nagtatawanan man tayo nun pero seryoso ako. ikaw na nga siguro yung unang lalakeng mahal ko. bakit? kasi po, sa'yo lang ako hindi naturn-off kahit andami mo nang gnagawang bagay na nakakaturn-off dapat. sa'yo lang din ako umamin na mahal kita, pabiro man yung paraan, totoo yun. sa'yo lang din ako naging ganito oy. nasaktan din naman ako sa iba kasi nga hindi ako ang pinili nila, kaso mukhang mas masasaktan ako sa'yo kasi mukhang lalake ata ang gusto mo? ay wait erase erase. lalaki ka. alam ko. promise ♥. pero nagdududa talaga ako minsan. minsan lang naman.

alam ko pagkatapos nun, na-awkward ka. ewan ko, hindi naman ako nakakapagbasa ng utak. malay ko ba baka kinilig ka rin. pero gusto ko talaga sana malaman ba, kung ano ba talaga. siguro malalaman ko nalang pag pasukan na ulit, kasi kung hindi ka ma-awkward, ibig sabihin gusto mo rin diba? pero sana ngayon palang sabihin mo na. lagi akong lutang eh, alam mo naman kasi na gusto kita tapos ang sweet mo parin. hoy ano ba talaga? pero dapat bang hintayin ko muna na makapag-isip ka kasi baka nalilito ka din sa nararamdaman mo? pero mahal na talaga kita siguro .(• ε •)

WALANJO, I LAB YOUUUUUUUUUUU ♥

awkward silence (×̯×)

we our exam in p.e today :"> we need serve balls (volleyball), there would be 10 balls, if the ball would go outside the court or if it wouldn't reach the other court then it's minus 5 per ball. i luckily got 6 balls in so i had 85! HOORAYYYYYYYYYYY (｡◕‿◕｡)

BUT!!! my heart t_t

i don't hate him. i still like him, i guess, that's what i feel(?) right now. i don't know. i'm not sure.

after those incidents, i have been observing the way he treats me, and it was quite normal though there are really times that we had this awkward silence especially when the topic shifts from random to 'broken hearts', 'love life' or the like. for me, i would try to be not affected if he says he doesn't like me. i mean, why would i make him like me if he doesn't? i won't make him happy in that case right? 

i quite noticed that whenever i mention a name of a boy or go squealing about something cute or, in our language, pag kinikilig ako or something, he'd suddenly become quiet. i don't know -_- but that's what my eyes see. or am i wrong? 

this afternoon, me and my friends had some random ideas to have our crushes' second name as our imaginary boyfriend's name. we are planning to fool people that we have boyfriends or a special someone. we acted like we had someone we liked and was acting blooming and such. i was checking his expressions from time to time. i don't know but he was not like the person i knew before. he wasn't saying some random useless funny things and was not laughing like crazy. he was too quiet. when my friend (who agreed to act with me) started to tease me about that imaginary boyfriend, i would check his reaction, and my expectation was wrong. i don't see gladness in his eyes at all. i don't know -_- 

i really know what he feels like. i wanna let him know what i feel like too. i don't want to get confused of this kind of things anymore. it's quite annoying.


i really want to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. but how ? i don't like him pitying at me. i am not to be pitied.
【•】_【•】

LOOK ALIKE ?

hi ヾ(●⌒∇⌒●)ﾉ 

i just want to share this, i posted my new pictures of vanity in facebook. hours later, one of my close friends commented saying that i look like some artist. i was kinda shocked, bc i dont really find my self pretty in any way. she private messaged me a picture.

when i saw it, i was like -- WHAT ? no way. she's too pretty.

see ? she is way way way way prettier than me. 

but i was flatterred though.

 (▰˘◡˘▰)

new hairstyle?

im talkative todayyyyy ~ ohoho. 

im tired of my hair. should i change my hairstyle?

this is how it looks rn.

- im ugly, i know.

should i have it permed? like this?

- i look stupid here. but its the only picture that shows the curls.

i also wanna try having bangs ;o does it suit me? omg i want smth like this.

ok, for earth's sake. no, this is not me. its KIM HYUNA from 4minute.

disclaimer: i do not own this photo, credits to the real owner.

KELP ME. 

MALISYA

ang ganda ng gabi at umaga ko :) ikaw ba naman, sa tuwing mumulat ka ng mata, eh makikita mo yung mukha ng pinaka gusto mong lalaki diba? sige nga, kung hindi ka ngumiti jan.

masaya na anko sa sobrang simpleng bagay na yon. lalo na yung magkatabi kayo at alam mong na aalimpungatan siya kasi naiinitan na nilalamig at alam niyang magkatabi kayo tapos hindi parin umaalis sa tabi mo? 

lalo na yung humiga siya sa lap mo (pero may unan ha) tapos share pa kayo ng kumot pero yun nga lang may katext siyang iba. wala naman akong karapatan magselos eeh, kaibigan lang naman tingin nun sakin. tsssss =.= nakaka inggit lang kasi kinikilig siya habang katext niya yun.

sana lang no hindi lang ako ang nagbibigay malisya sa pag higa higa niya dun, sana siya rin. sana bumilis rin yung tibok ng puso niya, kasi ako, OO. 

- OA :))))))

BiTTER AKO, KASI NAKAKINIS KA NA.

Kung ayaw `di wag. Bat ka pa mamimilit eh tatanggihan ka lang. Nakakasawa din no. Kapal mo. Sino ka pra pagluksaan ng ganito. Oo kung di ka na nmin kasama, iba parin nung anjan ka. Oo kami yung may kasalanan kung bakit naging ganito lahat, at masakit yung ginawa namin kaya ganyan ka ngayon. Pero grabe naman, hindi ba sapat na pinakita namin sa'yo na masakit para sa amin yung ginawa namin? na nagsisisi kami sa nangyari lahat ng `yon? At kailangan mo pa talagang ipamukha sa amin na hindi mo na kami kailangan kasi may bago ka nang makakasama ? HALA CGE JAN KA SA KANILA! MAGPAKASAYA KA HA ? TUMAWA KA NG TUMAWA, KUMAIN KA NG KUMAIN KASAMA NILA. PAKABUSOG KAYO, AT KAPAG INIWAN KA RIN NILA TULAD NUNG NANGYARI SA ATIN. HUWAG NA HUWAG KANG MAG-AATUBILING BUMALIK SA AMIN DAHIL NANDITO KAMI PARA SA'YO. tatanggapin ka namin. oo, pero ako, kahit kailan hindi na kita kakausapin ulit, dahil para sa akin PATAY ka na. isipin mo nalang, nagka selective amnesia ako, at ikaw lang ang nakalimutan ko. simula ngayon, wala na akong kilalang ikaw, BROTHER? BEST FRIEND? tss. you're unworthy even just to be called as a friend.

I don't need it but I want it.

Some people say that you must listen to what your heart desires than what your mind tells you but this time, I think my mind is telling me the right decision.

I don't know why but i started to have this want to have a boyfriend, I was not actually interested in having relationships since I'm too young and it won't cause me any good, but I don't really understand why I am longing for someone I can talk to when I am bored or when I am sad(ö is this what a boyfriend should actually do?), I mean, I have my friends around me but they can't ease the loneliness I feel.


I don't know if this is really true or is it just me making this things in my head. Another reason why I don't want to listen to my mind is that I don't want to break the promise I had with God, and that is to wait for the right time to meet the right guy because honestly, I don't want to experience heart breaks and bitterness after a relationship and that is another reason why I don't want or I refuse relationships.


I thought about this during the drive home and that is, I am really unsure if what I feel right now is real or maybe I'm just wanting something that will make me feel loved, and that I am to numb to feel that someone out there loves me.


Aigoo. This is so sick. (╯︵╰,)

Unsure

Why are you like this ? Why are you rejecting my calls, and if I'm right, why did you include my friend, our friend in this fight. It was just us, I don't really know what you see me as. I don't know if I was just a friend or someone more than that because as much as I remember, I was the one going after you before. 

Is it wrong that I prevent myself from falling for you again because I know I am not ready for relationships more than friends and I know that you are not allowed to have one `till your 18 later (though it's just a few months from now).

I know that the way I said it was hurtful but it was the best way I guess, because if I tell you face to face, I know, this won't end.

Actually, you weren't the only one who was hurt, me too, ofcourse, as well as "our" friend who eventually fell for your sweetness as well, and the one you're avoiding right now as well. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or if it's really true but if you're angry at me please don't include "our" friend about it.

I hope we can clear things out, I want to talk to you. I hope we can, though.

 

- just releasing feelings though. nothing more.