I don't Understand :/

Hi :) I am currently making my blog as someone I can share the things that are happening to me XDD


I don't really understand my feelings all this time. I can't determine if I'm feeling sad, happy or even the reasons that makes this certain things happen :) Because, You remember Mr. Irresistible right? Yea, I'll be talking about him again. I really want to forget about him already but he keeps on coming back to my mind and then I get to the point that I end up calling and texting him.Last wednesday, I got the feeling that I really want to forget about him and such. So I texted him that night that he must text me when he wakes up the next day because I have something to say. (I feel like I'm in a Novel or something XDD) He replied and said, Tell me now but I refused and told him that I'll tell him tomorrow. The next day came and he did texted me when he woke up. When he answered the call, his voice was so full of energy. He sounded so happy, so I started telling him. "Can you promise me that after this, you'll delete my number and pretend that we never knew nor became friends." I said. I was so surprised of his reply, his voice became serious "NO!" then he hung up. I was frozen for some seconds because I never expected him to react that way. What would be the big deal if someone you just knew through texting would suddenly tell you this? (I am quite mean, am I ? :D) but yea, I never really thought he would react that way. The whole afternoon I was asking myself if I did the right thing. Actually, if he didn't hung up, I was about to admit that I like him but he did so I wasn't able to say it.I decided to call him at 7pm, planning to tell him what I was supposed to. I started to ask him if he was angry at me, fortunately he wasn't. I was about to tell him about my feelings but he started asking, "WHERE ARE YOU?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?" "ARE YOU ALONE?" "DO YOU MISS ME?" and such. I got frozen up once again because it was very rare for him to ask me such questions. I don't really understand why, but he gives me reasons to like him more, but I really want to stop!!!!!  He was the very first person that I ever liked this much. I really don't know why. After our conversation, he asked me to go to a nearby buffet restaurant but I was shy so I told him an excuse that I'll be going home with my friends. Plus the fact that I don't like the feeling of going out with men which I don't really know that much or ones that I haven't been hanging around often. I admit he's 4 years older than me and I haven't hang out with him yet (I'm 16 so he's 20 years old), so it's quite awkward. Honestly, I didn't actually plan to like him for real because he was just someone who I can put on my attention to when I wanted to forget my former crush, but it ended up to be like this. I don't know what will happen next but I think I'll just go with the flow and wait for the next thing to happen :)